Fully Invested

Well guys, we did it!  Our adoption paperwork has officially been submitted!  It's all turned in with money and everything.  There's no turning back now!  Our home study is in May, and we should be approved for adoption by June.  Then it will probably be 2-3 years before we are chosen by a birthmother.  That's why we're jumping on getting this process done quickly!  

It's incredible what sort of things were needed to be approved for adoption.  First was the full background check.  It turns out I've lived in 14 different addresses since I turned 18.  Crazy!  Joseph had even more once you counted in his mission to Tennessee.  Luckily he has a top security clearance for the Air Force, so he was already cleared.  Also, I thought my getting-poked-by-needles-in-order-to-have-children days were behind me, but I was wrong.  We had to have full medical checks which included several shots and blood draws.  

Probably the most nerve-wracking part were the 100 questions we had to answer about ourselves that are going to be psycho-analyzed as part of our home study.  They included questions about all our relationships, biggest fears, interests, all sort of parenting and adoption questions, and everything in between.  Every time I would answer a question I would think "oh man, what are they going to think about this"?  I guess my biggest fear is I will find out I'm secretly a nut job who is unfit to parent.  It is unnerving to tell a complete stranger all your deepest thoughts.

Now we are almost to the hardest part of the adoption process: waiting.  If you run into anyone considering adoption, point them our way!

Getting Fingerprints for the FBI (Hence the red fingers)

So excited to have it done!

Can't you feel Hyrum's excitement?

And where was Lydia during all of this?  Most of the time, we worked on the application while she was napping.  That's her sleeping by her bedroom door with her favorite "Mr. Broccoli".  Sometimes she just does not want to stay in her toddler bed.

Life in the Air Force

            So we are coming up on our one year anniversary of being in the Air Force.  I’ve realized I’m a very analytical person, because I tend to analyze the good and the bad of whatever situation we are in.  This post will be no exception.  I won’t lie, when we first began this military journey I had a lot of concerns about what would happen.   I had heard a lot of things, good and bad, about life in the military and I guess I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Through these experiences I’ve learned a few things:

11.)  The Air Force is by far the most family friendly military branch.  They really work with your family and your family’s needs.

22.)  The experience in the military is 100% what you make of it.  I’ll be amazed how I and another person will have similar experiences, but they feel like it was very negative, and I’ll feel like it was very positive.  Turns out, we’re both right.  We get out of it what we think of it.

33.)  The Lord is very much in control of our circumstances though we may feel like things are out of control.  I have found if I trust in him, I feel peace despite turmoil. 

If the rest of our military career is a lot like this first year, then we are staying in until he is a general, haha.  There are so many good things about being in the Air Force!  (Now you have to get that this is from the perspective of a missileer’s wife who has only been at two nice bases.  My experience may be vastly different than others.)  First of all, there’s all the benefits.  In addition to the Air Force paying for Joseph’s Bachelor’s degree, Master’s degree, and his basic pay, we get a housing stipend, and a subsistence stipend.  It really adds up to a lot!  The Air Force is the reason we are debt free, and are able to pay for adoption in cash. 

            Also, we get health insurance.  Now for a lot of people, this is good, but for me, this is GREAT!  I tend to be accident/bad health prone, so I can use all the good coverage I can receive.  Get this, my complicated pregnancy/Hyrum’s birth would have cost $10,000 on our old insurance, and $50,000+ without insurance.  We didn’t even see a bill!  I also got to choose my own doctor, and the hospital I delivered in was top notch!  Thank goodness they’ve gotten rid of a lot of military hospitals, haha.

            We chose to live on base here in Cheyenne, and it was a great decision!  Because we didn’t feel financially ready to buy a house, we wanted to rent, and renting here is so expensive!  On base, we received a newly renovated home, right across from the park, two minutes from Joseph’s work, that is at least twice the size of anything we could have rent with our housing stipend.  We have so much room, I don’t know quite what to do with it!

            I also was a bit nervous of the type of people I would meet in the military.  Turns out there is a huge difference between the single airman who are fresh out of high school (which previously was the only military people I had met), and everyone else.  I have yet to meet a family either here or in California who wasn’t just an instant friend.  I think it’s the military culture to think in terms of instant friendship, because we don’t necessarily have long together.  Instead of shying away since we were only going to be in California for a few months, people did just the opposite.  Here it has been the same result.  I feel like I have some of the best friends we have ever made here, and it’s only been three months!  I can’t wait for three more years!

            Joseph also really likes what he is doing.  He basically makes sure that the nuclear missiles are safe and he’ll be the one to launch them if it ever does come to that (thankfully no one has had to really launch a nuclear missile since World War II).  Really, it’s a lot of down time, so Joseph has been working on his masters.  He does have to work 60-70 hours a week, but once you calculate in sleeping and getting his masters, he actually is getting a really good deal.  Joseph is also really good that making sure when he’s home, he’s home.  Days off are strictly for family (and church), and I appreciate that so much!  He also was paired with a really good commander, Zach.  He is incredibly hard-working, has a great reputation, very high moral standards, and has really taken Joseph under his wing.  They will go far together.  Oh and Joseph being out in the missile field counts as a deployment, so he won't have to go anywhere for the next few years at least!

           

            Now there are a lot of hard things about the Air Force.  You really have to give up any semblance of control.  The Air Force puts you where they want you, when they want you there.  Good thing we like Cheyenne so much.  Also, Joseph has a crazy-hectic schedule.  Things are very fluid in the missile field.  Sometimes it works to our advantage, but more often than not, it doesn’t.  Sometimes he can be called out on alert when he is supposed to have a day off, and he usually won’t find out about it until the night before, or even the day of.  Also, sometimes (especially if the kids are sick, or teething, or any of plethora of kid-related issues), it would be nice to have Joseph home instead of being with them straight for 36 hours.  But I know I have it a lot better than many of our friends who’s husbands are out for 4-5 days straight.  I’m learning a lot about myself, and learning to let go of the things that aren’t important while he is gone.  I’ll appreciate the lessons one day.

            Overall, this last year in the military has been great, and we’re seriously considering it as a career now.  We’ll see how these next three go!

Six Month Sugar Report

            Well it has been six months since I cut out refined sugars from my diet, and while that’s only half of the year I was going for, I feel like it is long enough to do a sort of “report” on my experiences with it.  Sorry if it feels a bit like a science report.  I guess I’ve never recovered from that “biochemistry major” thing.

What I did:

So I cut out refined sugars.  My guideline was not to eat anything with sugar in the first three ingredients.  I did eat fruit and foods sweetened with honey.

Challenges:

·      I realized a few weeks in that I had a serious sugar entitlement.  I felt entitled to having junk food on special occasions or when I had just gone through something difficult or emotional.  My thinking had to change from “It’s Thanksgiving, I deserve some pie” to “It’s Thanksgiving, no reason to treat my body badly”.  I was very proud of myself for not eating any sugar on holidays, or emotional days (like when we found out we couldn’t have any more children).  Sugar: 0  Melissa 1 

·      I also had to get over making people feel bad when I didn’t eat sugar.  Either they went out of their way to make me a delicious dessert, and I couldn’t eat it.  Or, they would feel guilt because I wasn’t eating sugar, and they felt like they shouldn’t be eating it either.  I’m sorry if I have ever offended anyone!  Sometimes I felt a bit left out, especially when it was an event that revolved around dessert or sweets.  I just had to get over it!

·      Last, sugar is in everything! Our salsa, bread, tortillas, dressing, etc… all had sugar in the top three ingredients!  I had to start making a lot of things from scratch, and most importantly, reading labels very carefully.  I learned all the words for sugar and sugar substitutes (there are a few dozen) and I feel like an expert in reading labels now, haha.

The Good:

·      I lost over 50 pounds!  Not eating sugar really helped me stick with a healthy diet overall.  Without sugar, I wouldn’t binge.  I was able to find other ways to express and deal with my emotions, and it shows!

·      I also have INCREDIBLE energy.  I literally have not had this much energy in my life!  It used to be that I would be tired all the time, have to take a nap almost every day, and I really was only productive about every other day or every few days.  Now I can get up at 6, go, go, go throughout the day, take care of two kids under 2, and get up 2—3 times at night without a nap!  I wish I had known this all sooner!  If I knew how good I would feel now, I would have cut sugar out years ago. 

·      Funny enough, my discipline overall has also increased.  Being so disciplined in eating has poured over into the physical, spiritual, and emotional discipline as well.  I can control my anger and emotions better, I’m a much more patient and laid back mother, I have master over my body, and I just feel really in control overall.

·      I also don’t feel sick all the time!  I used to have stomachaches, nausea, headaches, joint pains, all sorts of stuff almost constantly!  It was normal for me to wake up feeling sick, and go to bed feeling the same way!  Now I don’t ever get sick,  I haven’t had joint pain in months, and this past week when everyone got the flu, including Joseph who never gets sick, guess who didn’t?  Even when I was around them 24/7 and cleaning up all that throw up, I didn’t even get a stomachache.  I attribute it to my healthier immune system!

·      My skin has never been clearer.  I wish I knew as a teenager how much my acne was dependent on my diet.  I wouldn’t have suffered through it all those years!  Joseph and I are going on a pioneer trek this summer, and I realized I wasn’t even self-conscious about not wearing make up for three days.  It feels good.

·      Last, but not least, I have been the happiest I’ve ever been.  I didn’t realized the connection between my diet and my mood, but it is so easy to be positive!  I am able to handle emotional turmoil and trials so much better now.  Sugar has literally affected every area of my life. 

The Bad:

·      Now when all is said and done, cutting out sugar did not change the fact that we are unable to have more children.  That was a main reason why I started it in the first place, and it didn’t work.  I was quite sad about that.

·      Also, my psoriasis has not completely disappeared.  In years past when I cut out sugar for even a week or two, it would completely clear up.  I’m not entirely sure why it hasn’t this time, but I blame hormones since my psoriasis always got so much worse when I was pregnant, and my body still hasn’t returned to normal hormone levels after Hyrum’s birth.

I have become a huge advocate for cutting out refined sugar.  It has literally changed my life in dozens of ways.  I have never felt better, been happier, or had so much energy.  Please, please, please try it!  Give it a few months; I promise you will not regret it!  If you are looking for some magical sign from the heavens to do it, consider this to be it!  Here’s to another six great months!

Hyrum is six months!

Wow, I can't believe that it's already been six (ish) months since our chunky monkey was born!  So much has happened in that six months.  Our lives are totally different!  Hyrum is big for his age.  He and Lydia are only 2 pounds apart!  Because of that, he isn't able to crawl, or move at all really, without a lot of difficulty.  He wants to crawl so bad, we can tell, but he simply doesn't have the muscle yet to move himself.  He is incredibly chill.  He will just sit and observe for long periods of time.  If he's being held, he will rarely, if ever, cry.  He hates being left alone, though.  If he has attention, he is one happy boy.  We are so glad he came into our family!

And just because he's cute...

We love you, Hyrum!

Adoption in Wyoming is Different

            So we are on our way with the adoption process.  Adoption with LDS Family Services here in Wyoming is different though.  It turns out they don’t actually approve adoption in Wyoming since there wasn’t enough of a demand to warrant the licensing. (Only five couples in the last seven years have adopted from Wyoming.)  So we actually have to go through a different Catholic agency here in Cheyenne to get approved. Once we are, LDSFS will put our profile up on the LDSFS website, and we’ll also be on the Catholic agency website here in Cheyenne.  The good news is that we’ll have more exposure to potential birth parents since we’ll be on two websites, but unfortunately our adoption just got a whole lot more expensive.  Sigh But we felt again that this is what we are supposed to do, so we’re jus trying to save money in any way we can.  (It’s a good thing we bought our cruise and plane tickets for our vacation next month a long time ago.  It will be our last for a while, haha).  It’s also good because the Catholic agency doesn’t have an age limit on the children, so we are able to be approved as soon as we finish the paper work!  We don’t have to wait until Hyrum is one.  It’s a bit stressful, but exciting.  We are putting all our trust in the Lord!

            I want to get in the habit of updating more since potential birthparents will be hopefully checking out our blog.  I feel like I’m dating again.  We want our family to appear real, but show our best selves.  We want people to really get to know us so they can tell if we are a good fit or not.  It’s kind of a pressure situation being judged on our appearance, parenting skills, values, etc…  Someone out there has to like us!  If anyone has any suggestions for the blog, I’d love to hear it!  I’m planning on redoing the layout, etc… in the near future, but for now I will just keep posting about our family, even the mundane things.  Sometimes the littlest events are the most important. 

 In the meantime enjoy some pictures from my phone.

I heard Lydia crying in the other room when she was supposed to be taking a nap.  I go in to check on her and she had gotten her leg stuck in the bed.  Of course I take a picture before I save her!

Our chunky monkey turns 6 months this week!

They are big enough to both sit in the cart.  Stop growing so fast!