Millie and Brooke's Adoption Story

The last few weeks have been a life-changing, incredible whirlwind.  Frankly, we're still in shock that it actually all happened.

Introducing:
Millie Allison and Brooke Brianne Neary
Born Wednesday, September 23rd at 5:04 PM (both were out within the same minute)
Millie weighed 6lbs 8oz, and Brooke weight 6lbs, 12oz
Both were 18in. long.

On Wednesday, September 2, My Aunt Ally called and told me that her best friend's sister (you got that?) was pregnant with boy/girl twins and was considering placing them for adoption.  We got the call that they wanted to meet with us, and we flew down to Arizona that night!

The first meeting with the birth parents, A and R, went really, really well.  I fell in love with A instantly!  She's a beautiful woman with a selfless heart.  We talked for a few hours about ourselves, about adoption, about our families, and a whole slew of topics.  Afterwards they let us know that they had chosen our family to adopt their twins!  I don't think I've ever been more excited (or nervous).  Because A found us on her own and not through an agency, we decided to pursue a private adoption (only meaning we have our own attorneys instead of going through an agency).

Our attorney, social worker, and NICU nurse

The next three weeks were filled with playdates with A and her adorable son, E, lunch dates with the family and attending doctor's appointments and ultrasounds.  At the first ultrasound our boy/girl twins turned into twin girls.  Talk about a shock!

 

On Tuesday, A let me know that she was scheduled for a C-section the next day.  She was only allowed one person in the operating room with her, and I was honored that she let me (Melissa) go in with her!  After having experienced two C-sections myself, it was so strange to be on the other side.  Anyone who knows me knows I hate needles, so I was an awful support system through all the blood draws, IV, and anesthesia.  I'm glad A was patient with me!



At 5:04, both girls were born within about 30 seconds of each other.  It was an incredible experience!


Brooke



Millie

  Though their lungs had been shown as mature through an amniocentesis, they both struggled with respiratory issues and were put into the NICU.  Millie soon overcame her struggles, but Brooke continued to need extra care for the next little bit

.  The hospital kept them both in the NICU for us so the girls could still be together.



Millie / Brooke

We were able to take the babies home fairly quickly!  We are incredibly grateful and in awe of the blessings that have become part of our family.




Common Questions:

Did you get to name the babies?
Legally, we do, but we talked about it extensively (their names changed about 5 times) with A and we finally decided on Millie and Brooke.





Are they identical?

A didn't have an ultrasound soon enough to see if the babies were identical or fraternal.  They did have different placentas, so there is only a 30% chance they are identical.  For now we're thinking they are fraternal

since they each have some distinct facial features, though despite the differences we have still mixed them up a few times.

 

Millie                                                       Brooke

When can you go home?

It will take an additional 7-10 days to receive permission to cross state borders, but then we will be home free to WY!

Is this an open adoption?

This is a VERY open adoption.  We inherited a slew of cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents with the adoption of these beauties.  We are looking forward to a life of open communication, lots of visits, pictures, videos, gifts, and love from every angle.  These girls are blessed beyond measure!

Birth Grandma (Grammy) with Brooke

We've officially given up on family pictures for the next few years :)

Six Month Sugar Report

            Well it has been six months since I cut out refined sugars from my diet, and while that’s only half of the year I was going for, I feel like it is long enough to do a sort of “report” on my experiences with it.  Sorry if it feels a bit like a science report.  I guess I’ve never recovered from that “biochemistry major” thing.

What I did:

So I cut out refined sugars.  My guideline was not to eat anything with sugar in the first three ingredients.  I did eat fruit and foods sweetened with honey.

Challenges:

·      I realized a few weeks in that I had a serious sugar entitlement.  I felt entitled to having junk food on special occasions or when I had just gone through something difficult or emotional.  My thinking had to change from “It’s Thanksgiving, I deserve some pie” to “It’s Thanksgiving, no reason to treat my body badly”.  I was very proud of myself for not eating any sugar on holidays, or emotional days (like when we found out we couldn’t have any more children).  Sugar: 0  Melissa 1 

·      I also had to get over making people feel bad when I didn’t eat sugar.  Either they went out of their way to make me a delicious dessert, and I couldn’t eat it.  Or, they would feel guilt because I wasn’t eating sugar, and they felt like they shouldn’t be eating it either.  I’m sorry if I have ever offended anyone!  Sometimes I felt a bit left out, especially when it was an event that revolved around dessert or sweets.  I just had to get over it!

·      Last, sugar is in everything! Our salsa, bread, tortillas, dressing, etc… all had sugar in the top three ingredients!  I had to start making a lot of things from scratch, and most importantly, reading labels very carefully.  I learned all the words for sugar and sugar substitutes (there are a few dozen) and I feel like an expert in reading labels now, haha.

The Good:

·      I lost over 50 pounds!  Not eating sugar really helped me stick with a healthy diet overall.  Without sugar, I wouldn’t binge.  I was able to find other ways to express and deal with my emotions, and it shows!

·      I also have INCREDIBLE energy.  I literally have not had this much energy in my life!  It used to be that I would be tired all the time, have to take a nap almost every day, and I really was only productive about every other day or every few days.  Now I can get up at 6, go, go, go throughout the day, take care of two kids under 2, and get up 2—3 times at night without a nap!  I wish I had known this all sooner!  If I knew how good I would feel now, I would have cut sugar out years ago. 

·      Funny enough, my discipline overall has also increased.  Being so disciplined in eating has poured over into the physical, spiritual, and emotional discipline as well.  I can control my anger and emotions better, I’m a much more patient and laid back mother, I have master over my body, and I just feel really in control overall.

·      I also don’t feel sick all the time!  I used to have stomachaches, nausea, headaches, joint pains, all sorts of stuff almost constantly!  It was normal for me to wake up feeling sick, and go to bed feeling the same way!  Now I don’t ever get sick,  I haven’t had joint pain in months, and this past week when everyone got the flu, including Joseph who never gets sick, guess who didn’t?  Even when I was around them 24/7 and cleaning up all that throw up, I didn’t even get a stomachache.  I attribute it to my healthier immune system!

·      My skin has never been clearer.  I wish I knew as a teenager how much my acne was dependent on my diet.  I wouldn’t have suffered through it all those years!  Joseph and I are going on a pioneer trek this summer, and I realized I wasn’t even self-conscious about not wearing make up for three days.  It feels good.

·      Last, but not least, I have been the happiest I’ve ever been.  I didn’t realized the connection between my diet and my mood, but it is so easy to be positive!  I am able to handle emotional turmoil and trials so much better now.  Sugar has literally affected every area of my life. 

The Bad:

·      Now when all is said and done, cutting out sugar did not change the fact that we are unable to have more children.  That was a main reason why I started it in the first place, and it didn’t work.  I was quite sad about that.

·      Also, my psoriasis has not completely disappeared.  In years past when I cut out sugar for even a week or two, it would completely clear up.  I’m not entirely sure why it hasn’t this time, but I blame hormones since my psoriasis always got so much worse when I was pregnant, and my body still hasn’t returned to normal hormone levels after Hyrum’s birth.

I have become a huge advocate for cutting out refined sugar.  It has literally changed my life in dozens of ways.  I have never felt better, been happier, or had so much energy.  Please, please, please try it!  Give it a few months; I promise you will not regret it!  If you are looking for some magical sign from the heavens to do it, consider this to be it!  Here’s to another six great months!

Infertility and Adoption

     Sometimes the Lord must really think you need to grow, or that you're not depending on him enough, or that a life-changing challenge would be really good right now.  These past few weeks have been such a time.  After having several follow ups after the last pregnancy and all the medical issues, it turns out we are unable to have any more children.  (If you want all the medical mumbo jumbo, feel free to ask me about it.  It's kind of a long story.)  For a lot of people after two kids that would be no big deal.  For me, however, it seems that the Lord specialized this trial.  I could have handled a lot of other things much better, but that wouldn't help me grow, now would it?  It's been an emotional time, full of ups and downs.  It's true that I already have two beautiful, wonderful children and that at least I wasn't trying for years before finding out we couldn't have any more children.  But that doesn't means it's not still painful and hard.  Hopefully soon I'll stop feeling sorry for myself when I see a pregnant woman or when I see a newborn baby, haha.

    In good news, though, after lots of prayer and fasting and soul searching, we have decided our family is not complete, and are now pursuing adoption through LDS Family Services.  We are really excited about it, and feel like this will be a great step for our family.  It is very, very overwhelming (so much paperwork!), not to mention emotional, but we feel like it is where we need to be going.  We won't actually be eligible to adopt for several months, but in the meantime feel free to spread the word on our behalf.  We're working on an adoption blog now, which will hopefully be up and running soon.  We want another beautiful child to join our family!