A Year Ago

I originally give Millie and Brooke's adoption story here.  Today I'm more journaling my thoughts, feelings, experiences, and realizations over the last year.  My thoughts jump around a lot, so bear with it.

I remember one day seeing a blog post in an adoption Facebook group from a mom who adopted newborn twins.  I'm not typically a jealous person, but I remember having a covetous moment thinking "how in the world did she get so lucky?  I would give anything to have healthy newborn twins!"  Little did I know that just a few months after this I would be in a similar situation.

One year ago I was a total mess.  We were in Arizona waiting for Millie and Brooke to be born any day now.  Other adoption opportunities had come and gone, but this was the farthest we had ever gotten.  My anxiety and emotions were definitely getting the better of me.

We met Tuesday the 22nd with our future birth family at Cafe Rio after A's doctor's appointment.  The amniocentesis came back that the girl's had developed lungs, and a C-section was scheduled for the next day. I don't think I slept at all that night. 

Now this next part I actually feel extreme guilt over.  Typically one support person is allowed to accompany a mother into a c-section.  A added to the selflessness of already placing her children with us by allowing me to be that one person. The babies were born fairly quickly (a whole 17 seconds apart), and per A's request were immediately taken from the room.  I followed the babies out.  Fast forward nine months later as I'm laying in my own c-section.  I realized how hard this all was, and I wasn't even placing my child for adoption.  I dang well left A all alone in surgery!  If I could do it again, I would have someone who could have stayed with A the whole time.  I could have waited a few minutes to meet my babies.  I left her high and dry!  So, I'm sorry A.  Please forgive my selfishness.

That the babies were so healthy was nothing short of a miracle.  After being part of several twin mom groups for the past year, I've seen the complications that can come from twin births: preterm labor, twin to twin transfusion, several moms have even lost their twins in freak health conditions.  Due to life circumstances, A didn't receive prenatal care until about 32-33 weeks.  The girls were born just a few weeks after that.  Besides blood sugar issues from gestational diabetes, there were no complications.  No low birth weight, no jaundice, nothing.  The Lord was looking out for these girls in a big way.

Those initial moments in the hospital were so surreal.  I couldn't believe my dream of two years was actually happening, and in the most ideal way I could have imagined.  Honestly it was a dichotomy of emotions.  Here I was overjoyed for my own blessings, but seeing A's difficulties in placing her babies completely broke my heart.  Not to even mention that she had gone through major surgery that ended up not going as planned and had to have several transfusions and such.  Such a physical and emotional toll, and knowing I was partly the cause of it was very difficult.

Newborn twins is no joke.  I thought I was prepared for twins, seeing as I was a teenager when my younger twin siblings were born and how my first two children were a year apart.  Boy was I wrong.  Two babies at one time is a whole new dimension that I was not prepared for.  Sometimes I would feel such guilt over wanting to sleep so badly knowing how much I had prayed and yearned for these babies. 

We have a fairly open adoption worked out. I post pictures a few times a week to our birth family Facebook page and often give updates on the girls.  We have gone to visit a couple of times.  I love that if there are ever any questions that Millie and Brooke have, I can direct them to their birth mother to ask.  People will often ask me how A is doing, and truthfully I don't know.  Our relationship is primarily superficial and only involves Millie and Brooke.  I do wish it was stronger in that regard, and now that my energies are not so spent on newborns and pregnancy, I would like to strengthen that relationship.

People now will ask "How did you do it.  How did you manage to adopt two beautiful, healthy babies?".  To this day I have no answer for that.  For all intents and purposes, we weren't an extremely desirable couple.  We had two small children already--both a boy and a girl.  We lived no where near the birth parents.  But I feel like the Lord had a hand in the whole endeavor.  

For some reason whenever I go out in public with my children, people always say "So you're done, right?"  Thank you for making that decision for me.  Here's the deal. As far as pregnancies go, we are definitely done.  This last pregnancy broke me down in every way possible: physically, emotionally, mentally.  And while it wasn't as deadly as predicted (doctors said I would be lucky if I made it to viability, and we made it all the way to 37 weeks), it was definitely one of the most difficult things I have had to endure and I did, indeed, end up with pre-eclampsia a third time.  Those nine months were awful and I am never putting myself through that again.  The only redeeming factor is that we did end up with a healthy baby at the end, which is much more than many can say.

However, this was our conversation about a week after Ruth was born.

Joseph: So this is probably a really bad time since you're hurting and emotional and haven't slept in months, but I feel like we're going to adopt again.

Me (much to his surprise):  Yeah, I know.  I've felt it too.

Now what this means, I do not know.  I don't know if we'll pursue international adoption in ten years, or be foster parents when our children are teenagers, or heaven forbid something happen to a family member of mine and we take custody of their children.  However the means and circumstance, our family isn't quite finished.  But we're not adding to it any time soon (meaning not within the next decade as far as I can see).

Now while I haven't slept in a year, I am forever grateful for the miracles that are our children.  I could never have seen a year ago where I would be today: with three beautiful little girls added to our family.  Millie and Brooke are such happy souls that daily bring joy to our lives and I feel continually honored to be called their mother.

Ruth Anna's Birth Story

There's so much I want to write about and remember, so I will start with the most recent.  

We welcomed our precious baby Ruth Anna Neary on July 1st at 8:14AM weighing in at 7lb 5.6oz at 37 weeks.

At 35 weeks I got a massive headache and was seeing spots; symptoms that, unfortunately, I was far too familiar with.  After a blood pressure check I was admitted to the hospital for pre-eclampsia.  Medicine and steroid shots were started right away as we waited for lab results to come back.

My 24 hour urine content was off the charts!  The most the hospital had ever seen, in fact. (9.2g if anyone was wondering)  But my liver and kidneys were still holding up strong, and my blood pressure was able to be stabilized.  I was sent home a few days later (at 36 weeks) on strict bed rest with daily check ups and a c-section scheduled at 37 weeks if I should make it that far.  

 One last baby bump pic the night before c-section

We arrived bright and early Friday morning, checking in with a blood pressure of 190/100 (yay!), so they got to delivery pretty quickly.  I'll be truthful and say I totally hate c-sections, especially c-sections with gross medicines, vomiting, and dumb reactions to narcotics.  The only thing getting me through was that beautiful baby at the end.

And boy was she worth it!

(This is Joseph's absolute favorite picture, haha)

Having five children has definitely been an adjustment, especially now that it's almost a month later and all the family is gone and Joseph's paternity leave used up.  Some days I'll feel like a supermom, and a lot others we just barely survive through the day.  In my defense, I felt this way with all my children, even when we only had one, and we always figure it out.  The first two months are always the hardest :)

I wouldn't change how it worked out for anything, though.  All five of our babies are miracles in one way or another, and I thank God every day that I get the privilege to be their mother!

Week 34 Update

Thursday afternoon brought another doctors appointment (like I’ve been having 2-3 times a week).  It was a routine non-stress test and check up.  Truthfully it was the first doctor’s appointment in a while that I was going to not feeling completely icky and sick, so I was positive everything was fine.  I go in, they take my blood pressure, 140/90.  I wasn’t worried because it had been that high many times before.  

During the non-stress test they come to inform me that my protein level was at 4+.  For those who don’t know what that means, it’s bad.  I had been at 2+ for most of this pregnancy, which is already well into the danger zone.  To have that double meant my body was not doing well.  I was sent over to the perinatologist next door to run a few tests, and my blood pressure was at 150/100, high enough to be concerned.  After checking out some things, they decided to send me to the hospital on a blood pressure medication and to do a 24 hour urine sample all while they were watching me to make sure I didn’t go into full pre-eclampsia mode.  If I had been past 36 weeks they would have delivered me then and there, but since the baby still has a lot of growing to do, they were hoping to keep me at bay for a few more weeks.  

Well miracle of miracles, everything worked exactly as it should, and I had low blood pressures for 24 hours straight along with okay labs (okay enough that I didn’t need to be monitored at the hospital anymore.)  The blood work continues to get steadily worse, so they still are doing labs every 1-2 days.  My protein levels have gone way up, but my kidneys haven’t failed completely and protein level alone is not enough to hospitalize me.  For now I’m on super strict bed rest at home (I literally can only leave the bed to go to the bathroom and the occasional short shower).  And I have to go in to the hospital again tomorrow to get yet more blood work done and some blood pressure monitoring.  Hopefully it is just short term.  

 I am way more than ready for this pregnancy to be over.  If it weren’t for the fact that I love my son much more than lots of needles, hospitals, and three months of bedrest, I would have begged them to deliver me yesterday.  I am incredibly grateful that we have made it this far, and I know each day I make it is days less in the NICU for Hyrum.  On the plus side, I have almost complete conquered my phobia of needles.  Only 2-3 more weeks to go!  Though honestly I’m extremely skeptical that I will make it another week the way things are going.  Any bets on when he’ll make his debut?  It’s between now and October 11th at the latest.

What would it be like to have a normal pregnancy?

Well we’re at 33 weeks, another milestone I didn’t think I’d make it to.  On Monday things started going bad again where my blood pressure shot up and I was having all the preeclampsia symptoms (headaches, nausea, swelling, etc…)  I had gained over a pound a day in between then and my last appointment—all fluid.  I went into the doctor and they ran a lot of labs again, but they all came back normal which doesn’t make any sense, but who can argue with blood?  My protein level in my urine has gone up to 1.2 grams, but they won’t deliver me on high protein alone until I’m above 5 grams, which is complete kidney failure.  

I was sent home on very strict bed rest and some more labs to do at home.  The next day I went in and I had lost 5 lbs overnight and my blood pressure had returned to normal for me.  Basically the prognosis was that modified bed rest was not working, but apparently strict bed rest was.  The doctor gave me an ultimatum.  I could go home on strict bed rest (only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom), or she would check me in to the hospital right then and force me to.  I obviously chose staying at home.  I hate hospitals.  

The problem is that I have a one year old at home who needs a lot more attention than a mom on strict bed rest can give, and my son needs the attention of a mom who doesn’t put his life in danger by getting out of bed.  We made the difficult decision to send Lydia to my mom’s house in Utah for a few weeks.  My mom is the other person in the world she is most familiar with, I want her to have a normal schedule and not be at a different stranger’s house every day, and I trust my mom more than just about anyone to make good decisions for my daughter if something should come up.  Lydia would be able to have the attention she needs and the love of my siblings.  It was just best for her.   She and my mom left this morning and I’m trying to stay positive (*sniff*).  In other news it’s national positive thinking day.  How appropriate.

 Right now the goal is 36 weeks, so I’m looking at another three weeks at least in bed.  The headaches and nausea are still very much present, so I feel very sick a lot of the time.  Luckily I can just sleep it off most of the day.  Besides that I’m just lonely.  Joseph’s been working 12 hour days, so I’m alone all day.  So far I’m through six of the nine books in the Work in the Glory series (highly recommend!), and on level 215 of candy crush (I’m actually ashamed to admit that one).  If absolutely anyone wants to come and visit, please do not hesitate.  A thirty minute conversation lifts my spirits so much.  The same invitation goes for skype dates.  I have a lot of time on my hands.

 I’m afraid I’m still a bit in the “woe is me” stage of this, but give it a day or two and I’ll be in the “come what may in love it” stage.   Only 21 days to go!  I keep remembering that his is all for my son who I love more than anything!  And truthfully the bed rest is working.  I went to my appointment yesterday and my blood pressure was at 120/80!  I haven’t been that low in months!  And I had lost another couple of pounds of fluid, haha.  If only I could do that after the pregnancy, right?  

Lydia's birthday and a pregnancy update

I’m blogging from my phone again, so all the pictures are at the bottom of the post.  Sorry!   

Lydia’s first birthday was pretty laid back.  With me on bed rest and Joseph in intense training, we didn’t have a huge party.  We mostly made the day all about Lydia: we opened presents (all clothes), went out to lunch at McDonalds, and then had a few friends over while Lydia dug into her birthday cake.  It was just a simple family day.  

Now for a pregnancy update:  We’ve made it to 32 weeks!  A month ago when I was first put on bed rest, I never thought I would make it this far, but here we are!  Every time I go to my doctor, she’s amazed I’ve made it this far too.  She thinks I’m just lucky, but we all know better.  It’s all the prayers and fasting on Hyrum and my’s behalf.  The doctor’s decided that the latest they will let me carry Hyrum is 37 weeks.  At that point she feels it is safer and healthier to have him out of me rather than in me because of the strain I’m putting on his development.  October 11th is our scheduled C-section.  

 I really wanted to go VBAC, but the nearest hospital with the required capabilities is over an hour away and it would put a lot of unnecessary health risks on Hyrum right now, so we opted for a repeat C-section.  I love the fact that I can plan and prepare for his arrival, but I really am not looking forward to all the pain.  My OB assures me that a scheduled C-section is a different experience entirely than the emergency C-section after 24 hours of labor I had with Lydia.  Is anyone else able to vouch for her claims?  I’ll just have to see for myself.  
I’m still on bed rest for now, because apparently it’s working.  My doctor still thinks I won’t make it until October, but that’s our goal for now.  That does mean another five weeks on bed rest (no fun!), but it means no NICU for Hyrum!  I’ll take that over being lonely and bored at home any day.  

If anyone in California is ever wanting to, feel free to come and visit us!  We don’t get out often and I would love to have some adult interaction (as much as I love talking to Lydia all day).  Thanks again to everyone’s faith, prayers, and service on our behalf.  We know that is why Hyrum and doing so well, and we couldn’t be more appreciative!

Update On Our Life

 We made it to 29 weeks!  Every week that passes by I count as a solid victory.  Luckily this week was uneventful.  Besides the routine OB visits, I just stayed at home on bed rest.  There were no blood pressure scares and my protein levels haven’t gone up.  All the prayers and fasting must be working.  I’m trying really hard to be a good little bed rest mama so I don’t cause something to go wrong.  I couldn’t live with myself knowing I did something deliberate to hurt my child.    

I feel like Lydia is handling things well.  She mostly plays with her toys all day, and we watch veggietales together.  I’m hoping these few months of little outside interaction won’t permanently harm her development.  My mom has assured me I’m just being paranoid.  

Random story (Please don’t judge!).  I’m not sure whether I should laugh or be mortified.  Right now it’s towards the latter.  I’m sure I’ll laugh at it one day.  We were at an Air Force function.  Joseph and I were talking with some couples and letting Lydia crawl around with the other babies.  Before we know it, she’s climbed up to the table, and is reaching for someone’s cup.  Before we can stop her she takes a drink, spilling some on her.  It turns out the cup was full of beer!  I felt AWFUL and TERRIBLE and like the WORST mother ever.  Truthfully it will take me a while to get over the fact that I let my daughter have beer.  Everyone else just laughed.  I will too…someday.  

Thanks everyone for all your prayers on our behalf. We have felt their power and know that the Lord is helping us so much right now.  Here is a big thank you to our ward too for bringing us meals every day this week!  You guys are amazing!

Complicated Complicated

     I finally went to the OB here in California after not seeing one for 9 or 10 weeks with our lapse in insurance and the move and everything.  At my first appointment the protein level in my urine sample came back too high (a 2+ if anyone cares to know).  So they sent me in for some labs and tests to see what was up.  Now with Lydia I measured at a 2+, then did the labs, then I delivered the next day with severe preeclampsia.  So obviously I was freaking out since I was only 27 weeks at the time.  After a 24 hour urine lab, my protein count came back at 900mg.  Anything above a 300 is the preeclampsia zone, so I’m very much at risk, but it’s still nowhere near the 5000mg I was at with Lydia when I delivered.  Basically at this point we are just waiting for the rest of the preeclampsia symptoms to show up before they deliver me (mostly waiting for my blood pressure to rise dramatically).  It’s a bit scary knowing that my baby could be delivered any day (I’m at 28 weeks now), and I don’t have any control over it.  There is a small chance that it could never show up, and I make it full term.  It would take a miracle, but miracles happen!  For now my OB would be thrilled if I made it to 34 weeks (I would be too!).
      Right now I’m on bed rest to try to keep the rest of the symptoms from coming up.  It’s a modified bed rest thankfully so I can still take care of Lydia meaning I can feed her, change her, and bathe her, but that’s pretty much all I’m allowed to do. We did have one scare last Friday where my blood pressure went up too high and I got sent to the hospital for some tests and such, but luckily during the hours I was there it went back down and the tests came back looking awesome (no kidney failure yet!), so I am in the clear for now.  It’s really unnerving to have to be prepared and packed to have little Hyrum delivered anytime from tomorrow to 12 weeks from now.
     We have been incredibly blessed to have such help.  Our families are praying for us, which we can feel the blessings of already.  Ward members have babysat and brought over meals.  Best of all the Air Force has given Joseph permission to go on extended medical leave if something very serious comes up.  That’s a huge relief right there.   
     Probably the hardest part for me is that if the preeclampsia does show up, this will most likely be our last biological child.  The chance of preeclampsia in a third pregnancy after these two is nearly 100% and the chance of it showing up much early and more severe, resulting in fetal or my death, is about 50%.  Those statistics are way too high to even mess with.  For a couple who wanted 6-8 kids, this news had been devastating, but I’m always hopeful that something will happen that could allow to us to bring more children into our family somehow.  
       The person who has been most amazing is my dear Joseph.  He’s balancing training, being young men’s president, and now doing everything I used to do like cooking and cleaning.  The poor guy is always moving, getting things done, and doesn’t have a moment to himself.  But he’s taken it really well, and is willing to do anything to keep this baby healthy.  I could not have done any of this without him.
     In other news Lydia turns one in less than three weeks!  Wow time has flown!  She probably will just get a cake for her birthday since neither Joseph nor I are in any condition to plan a party, but luckily she’s one and couldn’t care less. She took her first steps last week and is very close to walking. She brings us so much joy and we love her to pieces!
     Overall we have been really blessed, and ask you all to keep Hyrum in your prayers.  We want him to last at least a few more weeks!

Time for an Update

 It’s about time I updated the blog.  It’s going to be long; I apologize.  You don’t have to read all of it.  I won’t be offended, really. Also I am doing this from my phone so that explains the bad pictures.  Sorry!
     We are currently here in Lompoc, California doing missile training at Vandenberg, AFB.  For those of you who don’t know where that is, look at a map, find Santa Barbra, go up half an inch in the middle of nowhere and that’s us.  Luckily we have Santa Maria 30 minutes to the north so I can still get my Target and Costco fix in.    

     I have a confession to make; I was really nervous about going into the “actual” Air Force as compared to ROTC.  I liked ROTC a lot, but was unsure about what real life would be like. (I had a lot of prejudices against the military)  Turns out I love the Air Force. (If only the me from two years ago could hear that.  I’d probably faint).  It turns out I’m just a worrier, and then none of my worries actually play out. I have already met so many incredible people, I really like the military culture, the pay is great (for officers at least), and so far the training and hours have been quite manageable.  Before, Joseph was doing work and school, so now that it is just work I get to see him a lot more often.  We are seriously considering making this a career, but we’ll see what the next 5 years brings.
     The ward here is FANTASTIC.  I have never felt so welcome to a ward in my life.  The people are great, but most of all we love our callings.  Joseph is a Sunday School teacher (a religious teacher of the 12 to 14 year olds), and Young Men’s President!  I have never seen him take to a calling quite like he has recently.  It’s all he talks about: the activities he wants to do and he tells me all about the young men and how he wants to help them.  Seriously, this man was born to raise teenagers (which is great news for our kids in about 12 years.  Watch out).   I am primary chorister, which I also have really taken to.  I’ve never been that great at teaching, but teaching music is an entirely different story.  The kids are so much fun to work with.  I have never been more grateful to live in a day and age of Pinterest.
     Lydia is growing up so cute.  She turns one next month!  She is normal height (40th percentile), but coming in small on the weight size at a whole 16.5 pounds (7th percentile).  We have a tall skinny baby here.  It’s actually been a bit of a problem when it comes to pants because they’re all either too wide or too short, so we stick to dresses and shorts.  She’s had an issue with solids, meaning when we moved she stopped eating them all together, but after a rough few weeks I think we’re finally back where she should be.  Oh parenting problems.          Hyrum is growing nice and strong too.  He is set to arrive is just over 3 months!  I really can’t wait to meet him, and I am just as excited for this baby as I was with Lydia.  Because they’re so close together, I don’t actually have to get much anything ready.  The crib is up, the nursery is already done, and we have all the baby essentials.  The only things we need are clothes (as in he doesn’t have any yet). So if there’s anyone in CA or UT (I’ll be there in August) who has any extra baby boy clothes, we will gladly take them off your hands.
    This pregnancy has been almost night and day different from Lydia.  I haven’t been sick, I haven’t gained as much weight, I hold the weight differently, my skin hasn’t gone off the deep end, and things just are better overall.  Plus the weather here in California is perfect for anyone who is pregnant.  It is between 55-75 degrees literally all of the time.  If I could have every pregnancy here I would.
    That pretty much sums up our lives right now.  The overall theme is we are extremely blessed and happy to be where we are right now.  The days haven’t been without their hard times and new trials, but really things are going well.  We can’t wait to see what the future brings!  

Neary Baby #2

Yes we've already announced this to everyone, but I want it in the history books blog since facebook does not have a print option.

We are having another baby!

Doesn't Lydia look so excited about it?

Nah, she's just excited about eating the chalkboard

I know some of you are wondering; they will be 14 months apart.  They will be each other's best friends!  We find out the gender in two weeks.  Yay!

This pregnancy has gone a lot better than the last one.  It might just be because I know what to expect and am able to better deal with being sick/tired.  Maybe it's because I have taken 1-2 naps a day since we graduated. (That's when I'm especially grateful that Lydia takes three solid one-hour naps. Then I can sleep too.)  We're thrilled to be parents again, and can't wait to meet this little one in November!

Lydia Eve Neary

Lydia Eve Neary was born 6:36 pm August 31. She weighed 6 lbs 4 oz, has beautiful blonde hair, a cute little pixy chin, a little button nose, and is, in the eyes of her parents, perfect in every way. Lydia has taught us from the very beginning that the Lord has his own time table. What will follow is a day by day sketch of how Lydia made her debut

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
We went in for our 36 week appoint and found out that Melissa had a tinge of protein in her urine sample. To make sure it was a fluke, Dr. Savage put Melissa on a 24 hr urine collection. This was slightly amusing considering she had to go to school. We won't bore you with the details, but Melissa was pretty creative in her efforts to covertly walk on campus with her urine-capturing apparatus. Though, it was fun in a weird way to see how much she peed each time.

Wed, August 29, 2012
Technically, Melissa didn't start collecting till 7 am this day.

Thursday, August 30, 2012
We dropped off the sample and got some blood taken at 10:30 that morning.

This is when the magic really started to pick up. Joseph was in the middle briefing Capt. Hart at the detachment when Melissa started calling him. She called him 5 times in a row which is as apparent as a smoke signal in the rain forrest that something was going down. Eventually, Capt Hart told Joseph to answer the phone. When he did, Melissa told him that her 24 hr urine sample had an over abundance of protein in it, which meant she had pre-eclampsia. They usually start worrying if your protein level is above 300, Melissa's was above 5,000.

After getting the phone call to come in ASAP, we drove to Dr. Savage's office (Joseph was told to get goin by Capt. Hart.)  They tested her blood pressure, which was supposed to be under 140/80 for everything to be okay.  It was 152/90.  That mixed with the protein levels got us sent immediately over to labor and delivery in the hospital here in Provo.

Once we got to the hospital they hooked Melissa up to several monitors, a fetal heart monitor, a contraction monitor, a blood pressure cuff, a heartbeat monitor, and other things we just can't remember, iv's and a catheter.  Her blood pressure was steadily rising (171/92), and things just weren't looking good.

They frist started Melissa out on Magnesium, which was supposed to keep away seizures that come from eclampsia, but ironically also can be used as a labor stopper, so we were already fighting against the odds.  Many may know first hand what Magnesium does to you:  severe nausea, hot flashes, sever swelling, etc...  It was NO fun. (and 48 hours from now Melissa is still on it. Gross)

1:30 The doctor comes in and breaks Melissa's water.  That gets the contractions to really start going.

To get the induction going they first started out with something similar to pitocin (like oxytocin, but it started with a C, we can't remember) which was supposed to start things out pretty smooth so she didn't go anywhere too quickly.  The contractions started getting pretty painful about 9 hours into the induction, so Melissa took an epidural then.  It only worked on her left side for the first few hours, but luckily the right side started to kick in by about 6 am and Melissa could get a little sleep (well as much sleep as you can get by having your vitals checked every ten minutes, and lets not even mention the silly IV alarms.  Joseph claims he almost threw it out the window he was so tired of hearing the sound).  At this time Lydia was handling everything like a champ, no distress or problems yet.

Around 6am they checked Melissa and she was at 3cm and 80% effaced.  They started the pitocin to really get things rolling (Friday August 31, 2012).  Melissa was super glad she had the epidural at this point, because the right side was already very painful and it was supposed to be numb.  The cycle for the next 13 hours were constant contractions, throwing up every time Melissa ate too many ice chips, pain in the right side from where the epidural didn't work, and monitoring everything very closely to make sure Lydia was handling it all.

By the time 6pm  rolled around, Melissa was completely exhausted.  After 15 hours on pitocin, she was still only at a 4.  Her body was devoid of energy and just hadn't had a chance to recuperate.  This is about the same time Lydia began reacting badly to the pitocin.  Her heartbeat would drop to dangerously low levels after each contraction.  This is when the decision was made to get Lydia out of there because she probably couldn't handle whatever it would take to get to 10 cm.

6:36pm Friday night Lydia Eve Neary was born: perfect in every way :)

Lydia was quickly cleaned and put into Joseph's arms. He was very excited and glad to see that Lydia was so calm during the whole process.

Post Partum:  It took about 24 more hours to get the high blood pressure to go down and for the doctor to feel comfortable taking Melissa off magnesium.  She now feels a LOT better (besides the incision pain of course).  Lydia has done well except for being jaundice.  She gets to stay under the billi lights full time except for eating.  After all is said and done we have been blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby.  We would do it all again in a heartbeat as long as we got he same result :) (and only if it lasted a heart beat!)

One of those days

Sometimes it's just one of those days.  You know, the days where contractions keep you up from 12am-5am and then wake you up at 8 again, the days where you keep throwing up from the pain, the days where you are just tired and discouraged.  Those are the days when you have to remember "this too shall pass".  I get a lot of help from here (for comfort) and here (for laughs) and a box of pineapple sherbet in the freezer.  Our baby's still in there, and I guess that's all I really care about, right?

In other news, I tried to make a baby hat.  I turned out awesome except for the fact that I grossly overestimated the size, and it will instead be fitting me.  I plan on making her a matching one today.

There was a project runway marathon on TV yesterday, wahoo!  I never had watched that show up until now, but I've decided I really like it.  There's something about very talented but weird people doing awesome challenges that I just enjoy.   Plus from what I've seen the show has a lot less drama than other reality TV shows I've been introduced to.  Now I'm regretting dropping that sewing class last semester...

Today is just going to be relaxing and making up for lost sleep if these contractions ever stop.  Feel free to stop by if you're bored!  Oh and if anyone has any tips for making contractions hurt less, I'm all ears.

Non-Stress Test

Well it was all good news today!  I've still been having contractions, so my OB scheduled a non-stress test to make sure they weren't having an effect on the baby, and that the placenta was working well.  First we had an ultrasound to make sure the baby had enough amniotic fluid.  Though I don't necessarily like the circumstances for the ultrasound, I liked being able to see her for the first time since 20 weeks!  She looks great, all the right body parts, and was in the perfect range for fluid.  She responded to the test exactly like she was supposed to.  Her heart rate went up when she moved, it doesn't drop when I have a contractions, and her resting heart rate was in the perfect range.  What a relief!  Towards the end she was getting so fed up with the monitors that all she did was kick it over and over again.

The contractions have definitely gone down since being on bed rest, which makes me happy.  Maybe I can make it to modified bed rest in a few days time :)  In the meantime I have a very kind neighbor who  has quite the extensive movie and book collection.  She is saving me from boredom.  Thank you!!

The Lord is sure answering our prayers!  Here's to making it to 37 weeks!

The terms of our agreement

So Lydia and I have an agreement.  I agree to rest, she agrees to stay in her comfy utero-home for at least three more weeks.  Yesterday my OB told me she'd like me to make it until 37 weeks.  37 weeks! That's an entire month on bed rest.  I'll personally be satisfied by 36 weeks. If anyone has any ideas for good movies/shows/easy sewing projects, I'd love to hear them :)  As for bed rest, I'm only on full bed rest for the immediate future.  If the contractions stay away for a week or so while I'm resting, then the OB said she'll move me to modified bed rest.  Right now I'm allowed up to get food, and to use the bathroom, but that's about it.

Joseph made me an awesome little set-up on the pull-out couch in our front room so that I wasn't stuck in our smaller, dark bedroom.  There's probably half a dozen pillows on there, including my awesome maternity pillow.

This is my incredibly fashionable bed-rest outfit (don't judge).  They're actually Joseph's pajama pants, but oh my are they comfortable.  Here's my 33 week picture!

Overall it hasn't been too bad thus far. I'm going to attempt to make a BYU baby hat today.  If it actually works I'll blog it tomorrow :)

Bed Rest

Well I made it to 33ish weeks! Sometimes it's difficult to believe that we will have a baby so soon!  Unfortunately it could be sooner that I would like.  As we speak I am on bed rest for preterm labor.  I get very painful contractions if I do just about anything (and I mean anything, it's ridiculous).  I just want to last until 36 weeks!  In the back of my mind, though, I will be surprised if I make it another week.  There have been some very close calls.  We're trying our best!

On the bright side, during the olympics is probably the best possible time to be confined to your bed, especially in the middle of the night with contractions.  I basically live on London time!  As a result I have become OBSESSED with everything olympics: the medals, all the players, the events, everything.    Also, it anyone feels the need to come over and keep me company, I'd love it :)

And there was never a better time for us to have made all those freezer meals (see previous post).  It has helped so much!  I call it inspiration.  Somehow the Lord knew we would very much need it in the coming weeks.

Joseph has been amazing through all of this.  He willingly gets everything I need, helps me get through particularly painful contractions, and has made so many sacrifices for our Lydia already.  I couldn't do this it without him!  Thank you love!

Well that's all the update.  I promised I would get a picture, and completely failed on that promise.  I am   motivated to get one now, though, because it very well may be my last.  Look for it on facebook once we actually take it!

Efficient or Lazy....I haven't decided which

Pregnancy has really taken a lot of energy out of me, and it started to become a problem when it came to meals.  Joseph and I would get home from work and I would either be too tired to make dinner, or too hungry to wait for it to be done, so we have been eating out a lot more than we have in the past.  Eating out isn't exactly budget-savvy so we needed to come up with another idea.

Introducing our bright idea...making meals for the whole month in advance. (It works great when you're poor college students and have a practically empty freezer)

We thought of our 12 favorite recipes, wrote down all the ingredients for them on our shopping list and $100 later we had a TON of food.  It took us only about two hours working together, and we were able to make 2-3 of every recipe for a total of 34 meals!  It was one giant mess and half a day of insane energy, but now we have dinner for the entire month!  

We made:

Manicotti

Hawaiian BBQ Chicken

Enchiladas

Ravioli

Meatloaf

Stir Fry (several different kinds)

Broccoli Cheese Soup

Stew

Beef Stroganoff

Curry

Chicken Noodle Soup

Chili

That comes out to less than $3 a meal!  Of course we'll add some fresh veggies to the meal (don't worry mom) when we actually cook it, so the whole meal will cost a little more than that.  It helped that a lot of the meals had similar ingredients, so we could buy in bulk and save.  I love it because it saves times, energy, and we saved a lot of money buying is higher bulk and making 2-3 meals out of it!  Now we have a variety of meals and minimal effort for the next month!  I feel so proud of us!  We will be sure to do this again before the baby comes so we don't have to worry about dinner the first month she's here!  Depending on how this month goes this may become a tradition from now on!  I use lots of exclamation points because I really am very excited about it!

32 Weeks!

First of all...I hate uploading pictures.  I'll get one up here by tomorrow.  I promise.

Wow...8 months down and only 8 more weeks to go!  It's starting to sink in that in a short amount of time, we are going to be parents! Crazy!

Lydia is being a champ.  About two weeks ago I went into pre-term labor, and she handled it beautifully.  Luckily I was just dehydrated and after getting some fluids in me the contractions backed off.  The down side was that I still had some intense contractions for about 2-3 hours each day for a week (usually around 4:30 am, haha).  Now I only get a few a day, which I can handle a lot better!  The bittersweet news is that I didn't dilate at all, which is great (because I don't have to be put on bedrest), but I also realized that this labor thing is going to be very tough.  The contractions were very painful (and I have a high pain tolerance, just ask my family), and they did NOTHING.  I can't imagine how hard they will have to be to actually dilate 10 centimeters.  I guess this is why I am planning on getting pain medicine up the wazoo when I actually go into labor (which will hopefully be in at least 4-5 weeks, no early delivery for this girlie!).  For now I've been instructed to rest and not overdo it.  If it happens again, it's bed rest for me!

Pregnancy has been really fun.  Lydia usually wakes me up around 4:30 in the morning and just plays around for a few hours.  I've determined I will get more sleep once she is out of my tummy rather than in it.  I love feeling her little feet press against my belly.  Joseph especially loves feeling the outline of her foot and giving her "footrubs" which really get her hyper, not sure why.  It's super cute.  I'm also growing very, very big (at least I feel that way: like a small elephant).  I've learned how to use the little energy I have wisely, and how to get rid of the swelling in my feet, which were two problems I had been dealing with).  I've been eating TONS of protein to help with dehydration and glucose stuff.  It's great because I can justify eating sausage and eggs with cheese for every breakfast (one of my favorite meals).

This little girlie has a major personal bubble.  Nothing can touch my stomach or she attacks it ferociously.  I can't be leaning against something, have anything on my belly, or have anyone touching my belly.  I'll purposely put my breakfast plate on my stomach, and within a few seconds it will begin to wobble around because of her kicking.  It's fantastic!

We almost have everything for our little girl's nursery.  It has most of what she needs, and absolutely nothing matches.  We're poor college students, so it's mismatching KSL for us :).  I've decided the theme is the "nursery of requirement".  My favorite part is all the little adorable clothes she has!  I could look at them all day.  I can't believe we will have something so small as to fit in those newborn clothes (and as I've heard they will drown her, crazy!).

Mostly we are very excited and anxious to welcome this little girl into our lives!  We know it will be extremely difficult, but I think we're ready (meaning as ready as you can be without actually having had a child before), which mostly means we're ready to attempt it.

Oh, and a lot of you have asked.  Yes, we will both be in school during the semester Lydia is born (but only Joseph will be working).  It will be difficult, but we are determined that both of us receive a degree while we are here.  School is completely paid for, so there wasn't a downside to trying.  Luckily I was able to get 4 of 5 my classes online so I can plan my schedule around Lydia's birth.  Call us crazy, but here in the Neary household we like to do hard things.

Aspen Grove

This reunion was definitely a month ago, but I'm finally getting around to blogging about it.  We went up to Aspen Grove in Provo Canyon for my Crandall  grandparents' 50th anniversary.  It's a family camp run by BYU specifically for BYU alumni.  Can I just say IT WAS A BLAST!  We had so much fun.  Here are just a few pictures of the cool stuff we did:

Archery.  Joseph was just half a centimeter off from winning the creamery ice cream.  He was disappointed, but I still think he was amazing!

 The ropes course.  I was glad I had the pregnancy excuse to not attempt it because it was very difficult.  Joseph even had a hard time getting up, and he's an in-shape 24 year old male.  Amazingly enough my dad, Kathryn, Camille, Allyson, and Brianne made it up.  I was most proud of Allyson because she's terrified of heights and did it anyway!  Dad said he only made it because his entire family was watching, and he couldn't give up in front of them.  Yay peer pressure!

Lots of bocce ball.  Turns out Savanna is the best bocce ball player in our family, and luckily she was on my team.  Sometimes that little 8 year old (now 9 years old) surprises me.

Luck was on my side on "frontier" night, a night filled with cowboy fun and games.  Turns out I'm a pretty good knife thrower, cow rangler, and tomahawk thrower.

Joseph was pretty good too. (Melissa is a better "Cowboy" than I am!)

The adults did paintball (once again, pregnancy was the reason I couldn't).  Joseph came back with some pretty good welts from his cousins and uncles. (But I gave them more!)

These pellet guns were horrible shots, but luckily they gave out prizes based on consistency, not accuracy.  Joseph was by far the best out of the two of us (surprise, surprise).

He also stuck three of the four tomahawks.  We decided if we were ever attacked by bandits, Joseph could successfully get 75% of them with tomahawks.

This game was pretty fun.  They shot balloons out of a slingshot and everyone tried to catch them.  For every balloon caught that didn't pop, you got a free soda at the lodge.  Turns out it was a lot more difficult than it originally looked, and we didn't catch a single one.

Joseph swears this balloon was military grade industrial because it wouldn't pop no matter what anyone did.   It lasted a good 3 or 4 rounds of men trying to pop it with the whip.

I wish I had gotten pictures of everything else: the family games, the pool, the good food, the kids performing their skits with their age groups, our awesome lodge (that slept all 35 of the Crandalls), the badminton court, shuffle board, the basketball and volleyball tournaments, horseshoes, the crafts cabin, and so much more.  I can't wait to go back for another reunion!

Third Trimester!

(29 Weeks)

We Love Lydia!

We're into the third trimester!!!!!  I personally never thought this week would ever come; it always seemed so far away.  Now we're into the final months until we get to meet our little Lydia!  (I'm using lots of exclamation marks because I am very excited).

As far as pregnancy symptoms, I'm doing pretty well.  I do have stretch marks covering my stomach, but there's not much I can do about those.  I also have been getting contractions (not Braxton-Hicks, but real contractions according to my Dr.) a few times a day.  They really hurt.  And I have thus decided that if they already hurt that much, there is no way I am doing this whole labor thing naturally.  Bring on the epidural!  They mostly come when I'm dehydrated or have overexerted myself.  Besides that and heartburn, I'm doing pretty well!

The nursery is looking very cute if I do say so myself.  I will have to do an entire post just on what's been done so far (in our limited way since we're not allowed to paint or change anything in our apartment).

And life itself is going very well.  Joseph and I are both working full time and making big bucks in anticipation of our daughter's arrival!  We're not doing school, so we practically have a date night every night.  I'm getting spoiled.

That's the update on our life.  I promise there will be most posts to come, I just have to make blogging a priority.

Pregnancy Update

I know it has been a very long time since I posted, but we just finished up finals so hopefully posts will be more frequent in the future!

We're halfway there!  20 weeks baby! 

This was me at 17 weeks

You may have heard...we found out it was a girl! We asked the technician if she was sure, and she said she'd bet her irish gold on it. If there's irish gold involved...we know she must be pretty certain. (We have proof, but you'll just have to take my word for it). I have another ultrasound on Tuesday! (which also happens to be my birthday, woot!), and we'll confirm then that it really is a little Lydia (that's that we want to name her).

Here is her little face! Isn't it adorable! (in it's no fat, kinda skeletor almost closer to a dinosaur embryo sort of way).

And her little feetsies. I was sort of amazed that they looked just like my xrays did. She's human! (that's always a relief).

 We LOVE this little girl already, and can't wait for her to join our family!

For future reference (when I'm in another pregnancy and can't remember) I was sick since six weeks. It dissipated around 12 weeks, then came back with a vengeance (think throwing up 2-6 times a day). Then it was another two weeks off at 18 weeks, and now it's back on again.  We'll see how it goes...

This is Joseph piping in. Melissa has been such a trooper through all of this. I am really proud of her in all that she has done and gone through for our little Lydia. It makes me love her all the more!

Nine Weeks!

Here is the first baby bump picture of many. I know it's not big, but it is definitely there (let me tell you). I'm not in too much of a hurry to be huge yet (but it would be nice to look pregnant, not fat).

When I sent a baby bump picture to my mom, I got this in response from Kathryn. She can make a bigger baby bump than I can and isn't even pregnant.

Besides being nauseous and tired most of the time, things have been going great! Almost a fourth of the way there!